Dear friend with Anxiety/Depression,

Anxiety and depression are no joke. People who have never dealt with it don't understand how crippling it can be. There is no shame in having to repeat something, especially for the sake of doing better, and I pray this next year will find you more equipped and ready to face life's curves! I know several of us know at least an aspect of what you're going through. I myself have severe social anxiety and suffered with horrid depression through college. If you continue to work at it and have help (I have relied heavily on counselors, pastors, and good friends) there can be a light at the end of the tunnel! I started on medication when I was 14 and at 21 we had to adjust it. And while medication has such a negative stereotype, I <3 my Effexor. XD It does make a huge difference, just in getting all those dangnabbit chemicals in balance. For me, it was like being given a fighting chance, but I know that's not the same for everyone. You may or may not be feeling the things I felt when in my deepest hole, but I hope you won't mind me trying to encourage you with these either way... It's okay to take TIME to work through it. You don't have to be "better" tomorrow or next month or in a year. There's no time limit to working through anxiety and depression. And it takes time to figure out what works best for you. I was diagnosed at 14, and it wasn't until I was around 20 that things BEGAN to normalize, and I would say that it wasn't even until this past year that I can say my anxiety is no longer AS crippling. It is still a part of who I am, and I wrestle with it still, especially when put in new situations (which is my main trigger). But there's hope in learning how to manage it! I say this not because I think you necessarily are losing hope, but because I wish someone would have told me that I could have the possibility of a "normal" life. (and really, what is normal anyways?) Anxiety doesn't mean you're 'broken'. There's no need to feel ashamed. I felt so much shame. It was something not to tell anybody. But to me, anxiety just meant that I felt things differently than others, that I felt things with more...strength? It is hard to explain. It's like all the talk about extroverts and introverts. Just because I prefer writing a short story than going to a club doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me. YOU get to decide when the anxiety or depression is too much, not anyone else. I don't know if that makes sense...I'm still trying to figure out how to explain that one. The biggest thing for me was always having access to my coping mechanism, which developed over time of course...(I've changed a lot in 10 years...go figure..) At first, it was Harry Potter on tape. So, I had my walkman and a tape with me all the time. For me, this refocused my thoughts and helped me get lost in a different world. Later, it became writing, and it still is. So I always have a notebook or at the very least paper with me. Having those anchors, helped me to refocus my spiraling thoughts and channel them into something I enjoyed, and something far from what was making me anxious.

And finally, never feel like you need to hide what you're feeling from those closest to you. When I was depressed, especially, it was like a thousand crows constantly pecking at my thoughts and swirling around me until I thought I would suffocate from the weight of my grief or fear. A hundred negative thoughts that I couldn't grasp for long enough to address or deal with. Saying them aloud to someone or sending a text of what I was feeling or a Skype message to a friend...those allow you to grasp those negative thoughts, so you can either face them or realize they're not grounded in reality. I had one friend I trusted to do this with, and she would slowly walk through each one with me as we figured out how to deal with them, and she was loving enough to tell me which fears simply were not justified. It's hard...but worth it. I hope this isn't like I'm "preaching" at you or anything... I am just so passionate about anxiety and depression because it is real. It sucks. It hurts. And there are so many negative stereotypes out there. And I would have given anything for someone to tell me I wasn't crazy back in High School and even college. Because I felt. Crazy. So, all this to say, you're not alone, you can do this, and if you ever want to just spill your guts of what is weighing you down, let me know. (And that goes for any of y'all on here who also wrestle with anxiety and/or depression)