Gandalf the Grey

This evening I found myself thinking about Gandalf. (Yes, I'm a complete nerd. I do this from time to time) Now, Gandalf is a pretty vital character in J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings trilogy. If you've only seen the movies...read the books! Only there will you meet the wonderful Tom Bombadil! Anyways, be warned: There are spoilers ahead....

Towards the end of the first book/movie, Gandalf the Grey is slain by a creature of fire and

darkness. Tolkien does a magnificent job just describing the horror of the event--of darkness versus light. The rest of the fellowship, Gandalf's companions, flee from the danger their friend has conquered at so great a cost, and spend precious little time weeping and mourning for their friend before they must continue their quest.

Grief. We've all known it--some more strongly than others. While I have not lost a friend to a violent end, or escaped an accident someone else may not have, there are plenty in this world who have experienced such tragedies. Personally, I won't pretend to have any idea. I can imagine...I can draw up the idea in a character's mind...but I still have not a clue. But bad things happen in this world. Horrible things. Family members are torn from us too soon. Friends leave. Natural disasters bring mass destruction and terror. Wars destroy homes and families and lives. But what is it all for?! Why does all of this happen? Is it mere chance? Does my friend's death mean nothing?

That's what an atheist would say. It's what he would have to say. Because without a God, there is no creation. Without a God, there is no purpose. I sat with an elderly woman earlier today just...talking, just spending time together as women who love the Lord. She described a life of serving God as a life of joy. "It is just bliss and joy," she said. Of course, jaded young woman that I am, I pointed out, "But life as a Christian is not without it's fears and heartaches." And you know what? She smiled at me and said, "No, it's not. But isn't it great to have the hope to get through them?"

Without God, there is no hope in the darkness. There is no purpose in the tragedy. Without God, there is simply nothing. Life is hollow and meaningless. I...I cannot imagine living in such a way. I cannot imagine living through the pain of accepting my dad's rejection without holding to the truth of God's purpose. I cannot imagine watching my grandmother suffer with her schizophrenia without clinging to the hope of God's purposes. What would it all mean without Him?

And so, we come back to Lord of the Rings. Gandalf's death brought his friends horrible grief and pain amidst a grand trial they feared would never reach its end. Yet there was purpose in this tragedy. If Gandalf had not fallen to the flames and the darkness, he could never have returned to Middle Earth as Gandalf the

White. (for you non-nerds that's like the upgraded, more powerful version) If he had not died, his companions would not have grown as strong or wise, as they would have relied on him for such guidance. If Gandalf had not have died...the story would have been a lot different. True, his purpose was to return. But, that is likely not the case in many of our lives when trials hit us. The trial is not suddenly going to turn around and reflected daisies and sunshine. Yet there IS purpose.

My dad and I did not speak for long time, and it was painful. I lost count of the number of nights I cried myself to sleep, wishing for a dad to be...a dad. He hasn't changed, and only the Lord knows if he ever will. We have healed our relationship somewhat and have come to a friendship at the very least, and I am thankful for that. Yet in that time, those three years of agony, I grew to truly know God as Father. The situation forced me to run into the arms of, not my biological family, but my Father in Heaven who sees me as his precious daughter, his princess. To Him, I am precious and desired and in His eyes, I have a purpose. There is a reason for all that I do, all of the mistakes that I make and all of the scars that weigh my heart.

And I am not alone.

There is purpose and meaning in the life of each and every one of His children. There is purpose in the grief. There is meaning behind the joy and the pain and the sorrow. Hold onto that truth. So that when times of trial come, you can hold onto it all the tighter--even while crying out to the God whose heart breaks with yours.