There is no love in settling

"Giving him the desires of his heart at the expense of his flourishing is giving up on the good for him and therefore also on union with him. There is no love in doing so." -Stump, Wandering in Darkness

We are drowning in a culture that teaches love as the gifting of any desire of ones heart. Brothers and sisters, hear these truths: Love does not mean letting your brother, sister, mother, father, friend wander away from the flourishing life God intended for him/her. Love is not giving a loved one what he/she desires but encouraging him/her to be the best he/she can be. Love is seeing the capacity for goodness and wholeness and beauty and not letting her settle for anything less. Love is your heart breaking when she settles upon acquiring the desires of her broken heart rather than pursuing the even more glorious gift God has waiting just a little further on.

I feel like this can be so clearly seen in the standards we set for our children. When they are young, we see their potential for nothing but goodness, despite their attitudes and impetuousness! We teach them what good is and set the standard far above their heads, that they may continue to reach up and up towards that which is best for him/her.

Yet there also comes a point, as they grow-perhaps into their teens, or 20's, that we begin to wonder if the bar was set too high, if we expect too much of them. And so we lower the bar a little...and a little more...and then a little more...compromising the standard so that his/her desires may be fulfilled.

Rather than continuing to push for abstinence and holding the standard high for the beauty of sex that God intended through marriage, we provide condoms to our Junior Highers.

Rather than pushing for high levels of critical thinking, academic standards are lowered to provide a fuller sense of accomplishment.

Rather than teach respectful behavior, we allow unruly teens to take control of the classroom through their belligerence.

With our words, we assure our daughters they are beloved, worthy, loved women of God, but then push them to bend to the social expectations of society, which tells them they are valued by their appearances and seen as objects.

When did Goodness lose its value? When did the deceitful heart (Jer. 17:9) become so powerful? When did it gain such authority? When did our desires gain the right to to bear more weight than the Lord's?

This is not to say that there is no goodness to be found in the desires of our heart! Even now, my heart twists and cries out at the horrid murders in Orlando. And my desire is that such senseless harm would cease, that God would intervene. Our hearts can be deceitful, but when we pursue God with our whole selves, our desires grow more in tune with God's desires. And this, should be the pursuit of every Christian, that we would come to know God more.

I reiterate. It is when the desires of our hearts are detrimental to our flourishing, that they become dangerous. And flourishing, by Evangelical standards, is defined by union and relationship with God. God does not love us by granting our every desire, just as a parent does not love her/his child by giving him everything he wants. Want proof? There are some good ones in here. Because God has a brighter goal; He sees a bigger purpose. He knows that for me to go to Peru now (the deepest desire of my heart) would be detrimental to my flourishing. And, in truth, who knows the reasons why! It could be that I would burn out fast. Maybe, I am simply not ready. Maybe, I need to establish a stronger church base here. Maybe, I need to gather more tools in Seminary. I don't know. But I do know that by not simply giving me my desires, God is pushing me towards a greater end. And so, I urge you Brothers and sisters, to pursue His standard that you might flourish, rather than the easiest satisfaction for the desires of your hearts.